


Drabble

by Taroham



Category: Original Work
Genre: Adventure, Crack, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 03:31:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14708303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taroham/pseuds/Taroham
Summary: Two adventurers stroll into the gates of an 'unknown land'.





	Drabble

D: It seems as if you know of this place. Mind telling me where we're headed?

 

A: Ah yes, there is no way to mistaken this stench! We are upon the Great Continent of Not-Quite-Continents.

 

D: the Great Contin-...What...? Uh, is that not just a regular old continent though, made up of countries?

 

A: Not quite. There is a certain history to this place, might you care to listen?

 

D: I am listening.

 

A: You see, many decades ago, a paradimensional rift tore itself open in the Northmost coastline of Rottnest. The son of a blind peddler, who was out scavenging for sand dollars, stumbled upon a Glowing Red Amethyst Scepter of Divine Right that had been abandoned there. He couldn't take it to his father for appraisal, of course, so in his excitement-

 

D: -Oh my goodness! Cut to the chase, Arthur! Must you always start from the top?! Geez. Also, rift magic doesn’t exist in the _real_ _world_. Though it does in that children’s story book you are always toting around.

 

A: Wh-when did you…? It’s not in my satchel, then… H-hey, give it back! It was a Mother’s Day gift from my mother!

 

D: Only when you divulge the **actual** backstory to that _ridiculous_ name you just came up with!

 

A: Well, alright then. Fast forward to merely five years ago, landmasses displaced from the ensuing conflict were now sitting ducks for the taking. Though Tuck, the wielder of the scepter at that era, had a different plan in mind. He commanded that all territories under dispute for continentship fight in a global tournament, which modern historians have dubbed “World War P.”

Only the sole victor of WWP was destined for the rare and coveted title of “continent,” while the rest were expected to smolder away, silently and without protest, into the damp ashes of history. The Great Continent of Australia quickly rose to the top of its bracket - a fact I know you are well aware, and went on to seize the title with minimal effort. But the runner-ups grew resentful at Australia's nonchalance when asked, "Are you a continent or a country?", to which Australia's inevitable reply was, "Yeah."

As their collective jealousy congealed, so too did their allegiance. It was not long before they amassed into a single monolithic, yet geographically dispersed order: the Great-Continent of Not-Quite-Continents, and opted to wage violent war with Australia ever since. It's certainly a fraught time to be alive, wouldn't you say?

 

D: Can I really believe you?

 

A: Of course, now can I ha-

 

D: -I’ll be the judge of that, you twat!

 

_Dmitri marches ahead of Arthur towards a large crowd of people, bustling and boisterous in the city square. He approaches a man and taps him on the shoulder._

 

D: Excuse me good sir, what do you call this land from whence you hail? And why have you all gathered here? Is this some form of protest?

 

“Aye, ‘tis be the Blessed Continent of Incontinents, but ‘ye foreigners probably know us by the more outdated term, ‘Not Australia’”

 

D: What… Don’t tell me … This is not the Continent of Not-Quite-Continents?”

 

“Not-Quite-Continenti-uh... He..hehehe? What does that even mean, laddy? Are you feelin’ alright?”

 

D: B-but, if not, then? Then…! ugh. Never mind! Anyway, what is this place all about then? Why have you all gathered here!

 

“Aye, 'tis be the line for the bathroom, laddy. I’ve been waitin’ in this same spot since morning! Hohohoh!”

 

...

 

_Arthur strolls to Dmitri’s side._

 

A: Told you not to doubt me. Can I have my book back now?

 

D: I hate you.

 


End file.
